Laying prostrate almost comatose in my bed dreaming of death Sick and twisted thought are ruminating in my mind I cant move from the pain of this depression i want death i want to be nothing I am already dead as the emotion has been vanquished from my body as this dead sensation permeates my […]

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Concealing My Disorder

I exist in this mask this persona that portrays a veneer of sanity Behind the mask lurks a inner world of darkness with a pernicious social anxiety and crippling depression that i conceal from all of humanity I go out to the world interact with friends smiling laughing concealing my pain never frowning never disclosing […]

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My Dream Life

I have this envision of a perfect idealised idyllic existence A life far removed from the my lonely life of creative disappointmentA life far away from the rattle and hum of my anxiety impaired urban existence Its a life living in the lush British countryside I have a charming beguiling man of my dreams by […]

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Drifting away into realms of my subconscious I dream in colour with a polychromatic visions that float through my unconscious mindI am sailing through the vast wondrous galaxy with a awe inspiring incandescent stars beaming not my engrossed mind Reds and blues and greens illuminate the horizon I’m in ecstasy In this euphoric dream I’m […]

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Shadows And Tall Trees

Outside my bedroom window all i see is the shadows A melancholic scenery of autumn trees No sign of life no colour a absence of humanity in my secluded residence I am alone sequestered away yearning for human contact to assuage my depressed anxiety laden malaise All alone at home with the silence that terrifies […]

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I Wish

I wish i was beautiful I wish I could laugh without angst I wish i could look at myself in the mirror without seeing a ugly creature peering back at me I wish i could socialise without being hindered by a deleterious social anxiety that is torturous I wish i could extricate this anxiety from […]

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The Strange Women At Flat Number 28

This beguiling eccentric women who resides at flat 28A flat directly above me I see her occasional saunter out of the block of flats She walks with a weariness with a detached aloofness We on rare moments came across each other We exchange these monosyllabic awkward pleasantries No long effusive conversations just stilted interactionsI want […]

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I’m Ugly

Peer into the the cracked mirror A malformed grotesque creature is glaring back at me Eyes devoid of life eyes so listless and languid A face pale i shudder in horror at my homely face with a ghostlike complexion I brush my teeth in this castigating mirror I glimpse a set of deformed gnarled teeth […]

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To Be Touched Hugged Loved

The wind howls in the bleak autumn evening The stars in full display the beauty of the celestial universe is illuminated tonight Distant echoes of people laughing dogs barking pierce through my window The loneliness of my life is exacerbated by the sublime nighttime horizon I stare outside my window with a haunted mournful expression […]

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