The Wedding

The Morning Its 8:00 am i have awoken at a ungodly early hour on a clement august Saturday in my old bed in my old house on this supposedly momentous day. Its the day of my fathers wedding day his second wedding nearly 10 years since the traumatic suicide of my mum. 10 years ago […]

Read More The Wedding

Harrowing vivid Nightmare

I awake at 3 o’clock in the morning my forehead is soaked in sweat. I’m sitting upright on my single bed breathing heavily. Panting like a frightened dog after experiment a harrowing vivid nightmare that wrecked me with anxiety and distress. For the rest of the night and early mourning i was unable to fall […]

Read More Harrowing vivid Nightmare

Voices In My Head

Lost in the walls of my mind Lost all alone with these venomous inner voices that reverberate inside my damaged mind They scream they bellow when i loom at my ghastly visage in the mirror They scream freak ugly scum as i shudder These voices bark at me in the night They tell me to […]

Read More Voices In My Head

My Depression

My depression isn’t romantic its mind numbing boredom Its waking up aching in pain with this weight in your bones Its being able to leave my house for fear of a panic attack Its eschewing looking into the mirror for fear of seeing the monstrous creature that will materialise in the bathroom mirror Its going […]

Read More My Depression

The Darkest Day Part 2

After a eternity as me and my grieving stoic father sat languidly in the funeral car directly behind the hearse containing my mothers decaying corpse. Then the rest of the funeral attendees got inside their respective vehicles and we could proceed to the church. It was a long arduous journey as we travelled at a […]

Read More The Darkest Day Part 2

Spiralling Out Of Control

My mind is beset with anxiety today I started the day feeling normal just slightly nervous Then over the course of the day my anxiety intensified as i spiralled out of control By the end of the day my hands were shacking i could barely breathe This anxiety is killing its living in hellIts rendered […]

Read More Spiralling Out Of Control

The Terror

The news fills me with dread I see a array of devastating reports on climate change The burning of our rainforest artic on fire oceans rising apocalyptic storms and hurricanes The terror the horror of our future what will life be like in 50 years I have trouble breathing as these nightmarish climate stories provoke […]

Read More The Terror

Disorder

Lost and confused in a alienated state Alone in the hell of my tortured existence Nobody cares there’s nobody who understands who knows about my pain I want to reach and feel a connection to have another soul hold my mind hug me tightly and share my disorder I’m ill a body paralysed with anxiety […]

Read More Disorder

Climbing Up The Walls

Arms shacking shivering my body sways manically back and forth My breathing is erratic uncontrolled the curtains are firmly closed No lights in my home I can’t face the world the dark eerie outside I turn off my phone there’s complete silence no music as i sit on the edge of my bed wanting this […]

Read More Climbing Up The Walls