Chapter 8 The Purgatory Of 9 Till 5

Every working day starts and ends in the same laborious way. There’s no meaningful differentiation from one day to the next. It’s me completing the same task the exact duplicate itinerary for every single working day. It’s a vacuous boring subsistence existence that i have been condemned to endure. The routine however is comforting allowing […]

Read More Chapter 8 The Purgatory Of 9 Till 5

Chapter 7 An Alien Trapped In A Cage

Confined condemned to exist in this cage this metaphorical cage of sequestration from the world. I am a alien creature hidden away in walls of isolation prevented due to my pathological condition from connecting with the humans. A condition a sickness of the mind that has damaged permanently my relationship to the human race. I […]

Read More Chapter 7 An Alien Trapped In A Cage

Chapter 6 I Have No Friends

All of my adult life maintaining long term meaningful friendships was immensely difficult. When my personality disorder emerged in my late teens the negative anti social traits made friendships increasingly arduous to develop or preserve. Even as a child friendships were elusive special gifts i had to treasure. My circle of friends were long standing […]

Read More Chapter 6 I Have No Friends

Chapter 3 Teenage Alienation

As i progressed into adolescence i was cognisant that i began to change as a person. Transforming in many positive aspects in my self confidence in my ambitions for the future. Benefiting from the atmosphere that was fostered in my secondary school education. It was a environment where you could thrive where intellectual curiosity was […]

Read More Chapter 3 Teenage Alienation

Chapter 1 My Disorder

From my earliest childhood memories i always felt different regarding myself as a alien not part of the human race. Remembering always feeling isolated from the world having a perception that there is something wrong or peculiar about me. From earliest memory i suffered with deep feelings of self loathing and worthlessness. Having the impression […]

Read More Chapter 1 My Disorder

Why I Self Harm

The sun is setting on a another sweltering July evening. I peer outside my window with my stoned eyes looking at another majestic picturesque sunset. The full spectrum of colours on display the yellows and reds inflame my mind as I’m standing glaring outside my bedroom window viewing the sublime evening panorama of a luscious […]

Read More Why I Self Harm

I’m A Beast

Can’t go out tonight had turn down my friends fervent requests to go out I made the fateful error of looking at myself in the mirror without my makeup A hideous malformed creature appeared in my bathroom mirror With cracked blotchy and a pallid unappealing complexion Teeth when i smiled looking gnarled unsightly not exactly […]

Read More I’m A Beast

Voices In My Head

Lost in the walls of my mind Lost all alone with these venomous inner voices that reverberate inside my damaged mind They scream they bellow when i loom at my ghastly visage in the mirror They scream freak ugly scum as i shudder These voices bark at me in the night They tell me to […]

Read More Voices In My Head

The Serenity Of My Bubble Bath

After a day of anguish and stress I retreat to my bathroom Draw a luscious bubble bath with serene inducing aromas that soothe my anxiety I remove my sweaty cloths and disappear into a sea of bubbles with My naked body is transformed into a euphoric relaxed state in the bliss of my bath The […]

Read More The Serenity Of My Bubble Bath

Late Stage Depression

My depression that’s lived inside my entire life has mutated Its mutated it’s something malignant that left my mind in protracted states of atrophy My melancholia has metastasised into these suicidal thoughts Days spent in agony barely able to walk to talk to maintain a functioning body and mind On days off i lay in […]

Read More Late Stage Depression