I Hate Myself And Want To Die

Can’t abide the pain of being me anymore I hate myself so fucking badly and all I desire is for this hell to end Viewed myself in the mirror today what a disgusting repulsive human I am With gnarled disfigured teeth and horrendous pasty blotchy skin I hate living in this body living in my […]

The Rave

Dancing for hours floating on air In states of rapture to the incessant beat My mind my body transported by the molly into a euphoric loved up sensation Psychedelic colours flow in my eye as the music and sound appear as one My friends that dance in blissed out states appear to me like ethereal […]

Alive

Take the menacing blade of glass in my right hands that is erratically trembling I hols my left arm on the floor and cut with the sharp blade cutting into my underarms Laceration after laceration is made in another bout of euphoric self harm Blood cascades from the deep wounds onto my wooden bedroom floor […]

The Darkest Day Part 3

After the priest powerful emotional soaring eulogy in which we rendered the funeral congregation to tears. My mums best friend since childhood Dorothy again delivered a funny poignant elocution filled with humorous anecdotes and lamenting the tragic untimely passing of her best friend. Then my father got up tentatively to recite a poem which encapsulated […]

Mother

Gone forever existing as a fading memory Death by suicide can still visualise your sad listless eyes Mother i will never forget about you You’re indelible illuminating presence is embedded in my damaged mind There was once bitterness and anger at losing you in the apex of my adolescence Now though its been replaced by […]

The Darkest Day Part 2

After a eternity as me and my grieving stoic father sat languidly in the funeral car directly behind the hearse containing my mothers decaying corpse. Then the rest of the funeral attendees got inside their respective vehicles and we could proceed to the church. It was a long arduous journey as we travelled at a […]

Late Stage Depression

My depression that’s lived inside my entire life has mutated Its mutated it’s something malignant that left my mind in protracted states of atrophy My melancholia has metastasised into these suicidal thoughts Days spent in agony barely able to walk to talk to maintain a functioning body and mind On days off i lay in […]