Chapter 11 No Future

It’s New Year’s Eve a typical news years night in my lonely schizoid life. No raucous party no frequenting night clubs no prolonged period of public inebriation or social interaction. I have no friends i have a vacant private life devoid of meaningful human connection. Consequently i spend New Year’s Eve as a sad pathetic […]

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Chapter 10 Peter Allan

For the majority of my adult life and tenure at TWC i have refrained from engaging in romantic or sexual relationships due to my disorder. There was though one individual in my early twenties in my preliminary period at TWC who fired the fervent passions hidden deep inside my introverted introspective personality. This person was […]

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Chapter 1 My Disorder

From my earliest childhood memories i always felt different regarding myself as a alien not part of the human race. Remembering always feeling isolated from the world having a perception that there is something wrong or peculiar about me. From earliest memory i suffered with deep feelings of self loathing and worthlessness. Having the impression […]

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No Future

Sick of the pain the god damn fucking pain that lurks in my mind. Everyday is a arduous struggle to survive living is extremely hard I’m suffocating on the noxious fumes of my defective body and mind. This is my last literary effort after this i plan to expeditiously kill myself the same way my […]

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A Exultant Night Out In Cambridge

My body is soaked in a luxurious orange blossom infused bubble bath. I’m in a tranquil setting as my anxiety my body dysmorphia is alleviated as i soak my scrawny body in the bath as Lana del Rey plays on my Bluetooth speakers. I’m getting ready for another exultant night out with my university cohorts. […]

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I Hate Myself And Want To Die

Can’t abide the pain of being me anymore I hate myself so fucking badly and all I desire is for this hell to end Viewed myself in the mirror today what a disgusting repulsive human I am With gnarled disfigured teeth and horrendous pasty blotchy skin I hate living in this body living in my […]

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The Rave

Dancing for hours floating on air In states of rapture to the incessant beat My mind my body transported by the molly into a euphoric loved up sensation Psychedelic colours flow in my eye as the music and sound appear as one My friends that dance in blissed out states appear to me like ethereal […]

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Alive

Take the menacing blade of glass in my right hands that is erratically trembling I hols my left arm on the floor and cut with the sharp blade cutting into my underarms Laceration after laceration is made in another bout of euphoric self harm Blood cascades from the deep wounds onto my wooden bedroom floor […]

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