A Rapturous Night Of Conviviality And Alcoholic Excess

Let me regale you of a euphoric night of pure hedonism Spending a night with my university cohorts A night devoid of sadness where my heart was in pure rapture Drinking alcohol enjoying the geniality of my closest friends The evening commenced as the sun was setting with a sublime kaleidoscopic sunset We drank in […]

Concealing My Disorder

I exist in this mask this persona that portrays a veneer of sanity Behind the mask lurks a inner world of darkness with a pernicious social anxiety and crippling depression that i conceal from all of humanity I go out to the world interact with friends smiling laughing concealing my pain never frowning never disclosing […]

2AM Phone Call To The Salvation Army Crisis Hotline

Its 2 am in the morning my hands are shacking covered in blood from another masochistic bout of self harm. I’m laying on my kitchen floor with a razor blade in my right hand my left arm looks ravaged with several vertical deep lacerations on my underarm. My pain receptors are dulled and numb from […]

My Dream Life

I have this envision of a perfect idealised idyllic existence A life far removed from the my lonely life of creative disappointmentA life far away from the rattle and hum of my anxiety impaired urban existence Its a life living in the lush British countryside I have a charming beguiling man of my dreams by […]

He Shuddered When He Glimpsed My Face

I entered the door to my block of flats A stranger a neighbour glimpsed my hideous visage and shuddered with horror As I entered the door he was leaving and I perceived from his repulsed reaction to my deformed face He looked at me with terror with derision I was so profoundly embarrassed my our […]

I’m Ugly Living With Body Dysmorphia

The genesis of my body dysmorphia began as I entered adolescence. I was always this shy introverted who was acutely self conscious around my secondary school peers. Then a tragic event befall our family my mother committed suicide in my first year i attended secondary school the ptsd I incurred and the isolation i surmised […]

Shadows And Tall Trees

Outside my bedroom window all i see is the shadows A melancholic scenery of autumn trees No sign of life no colour a absence of humanity in my secluded residence I am alone sequestered away yearning for human contact to assuage my depressed anxiety laden malaise All alone at home with the silence that terrifies […]

I Wish

I wish i was beautiful I wish I could laugh without angst I wish i could look at myself in the mirror without seeing a ugly creature peering back at me I wish i could socialise without being hindered by a deleterious social anxiety that is torturous I wish i could extricate this anxiety from […]

The Strange Women At Flat Number 28

This beguiling eccentric women who resides at flat 28A flat directly above me I see her occasional saunter out of the block of flats She walks with a weariness with a detached aloofness We on rare moments came across each other We exchange these monosyllabic awkward pleasantries No long effusive conversations just stilted interactionsI want […]

I’m Ugly

Peer into the the cracked mirror A malformed grotesque creature is glaring back at me Eyes devoid of life eyes so listless and languid A face pale i shudder in horror at my homely face with a ghostlike complexion I brush my teeth in this castigating mirror I glimpse a set of deformed gnarled teeth […]