The Infinite Breathtaking Beauty Of Nature

I venture outside into the lush verdant woodsIm engulfed by this serene vista of beauty Surrounded by birds a vast array of trees As i traverse deeper into the vast forest I hear a cacophony of birds singing that sends me into rapturous delight I am all alone with no distractions no modern day technology […]

My Depression

My depression isn’t romantic its mind numbing boredom Its waking up aching in pain with this weight in your bones Its being able to leave my house for fear of a panic attack Its eschewing looking into the mirror for fear of seeing the monstrous creature that will materialise in the bathroom mirror Its going […]

Spiralling Out Of Control

My mind is beset with anxiety today I started the day feeling normal just slightly nervous Then over the course of the day my anxiety intensified as i spiralled out of control By the end of the day my hands were shacking i could barely breathe This anxiety is killing its living in hellIts rendered […]

Dear Arya

I am writing this email to you to notify you of a few important momentous details that have been occurring in my life. Rather than have a brief phone interaction with i thought i could detail the events coming up in my life that you as my beloved daughter have a right to know about. […]

Disorder

Lost and confused in a alienated state Alone in the hell of my tortured existence Nobody cares there’s nobody who understands who knows about my pain I want to reach and feel a connection to have another soul hold my mind hug me tightly and share my disorder I’m ill a body paralysed with anxiety […]

Death

Laying prostrate almost comatose in my bed dreaming of death Sick and twisted thought are ruminating in my mind I cant move from the pain of this depression i want death i want to be nothing I am already dead as the emotion has been vanquished from my body as this dead sensation permeates my […]

A Passenger

Existing as a observer of life Not actively engaging in the essential activities of the human race I’m on the outside wanting to be a participant in the wonders of life Wanting love wanting to traverse the globe and witness fantastical awe inspiring vistas but my disorder precludes me from venturing into the wide world […]

Concealing My Disorder

I exist in this mask this persona that portrays a veneer of sanity Behind the mask lurks a inner world of darkness with a pernicious social anxiety and crippling depression that i conceal from all of humanity I go out to the world interact with friends smiling laughing concealing my pain never frowning never disclosing […]

2AM Phone Call To The Salvation Army Crisis Hotline

Its 2 am in the morning my hands are shacking covered in blood from another masochistic bout of self harm. I’m laying on my kitchen floor with a razor blade in my right hand my left arm looks ravaged with several vertical deep lacerations on my underarm. My pain receptors are dulled and numb from […]

The Monster

It lives within me this beast this monster It threatens to ruin me to devour me from the inside When I’m in public when in unfamiliar situations the monster appears torturing me It tells me I’m ugly I’m worthless I’m unlovable The monster has rendered me ravaged shattered exhausted barely able to function It blinded […]