Chapter 11 No Future

It’s New Year’s Eve a typical news years night in my lonely schizoid life. No raucous party no frequenting night clubs no prolonged period of public inebriation or social interaction. I have no friends i have a vacant private life devoid of meaningful human connection. Consequently i spend New Year’s Eve as a sad pathetic […]

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Chapter 10 Peter Allan

For the majority of my adult life and tenure at TWC i have refrained from engaging in romantic or sexual relationships due to my disorder. There was though one individual in my early twenties in my preliminary period at TWC who fired the fervent passions hidden deep inside my introverted introspective personality. This person was […]

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Chapter 8 The Purgatory Of 9 Till 5

Every working day starts and ends in the same laborious way. There’s no meaningful differentiation from one day to the next. It’s me completing the same task the exact duplicate itinerary for every single working day. It’s a vacuous boring subsistence existence that i have been condemned to endure. The routine however is comforting allowing […]

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Chapter 7 An Alien Trapped In A Cage

Confined condemned to exist in this cage this metaphorical cage of sequestration from the world. I am a alien creature hidden away in walls of isolation prevented due to my pathological condition from connecting with the humans. A condition a sickness of the mind that has damaged permanently my relationship to the human race. I […]

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The Wedding

The Morning Its 8:00 am i have awoken at a ungodly early hour on a clement august Saturday in my old bed in my old house on this supposedly momentous day. Its the day of my fathers wedding day his second wedding nearly 10 years since the traumatic suicide of my mum. 10 years ago […]

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Why I Self Harm

The sun is setting on a another sweltering July evening. I peer outside my window with my stoned eyes looking at another majestic picturesque sunset. The full spectrum of colours on display the yellows and reds inflame my mind as I’m standing glaring outside my bedroom window viewing the sublime evening panorama of a luscious […]

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Red

Red the spectacular awe inspiring colours of the sunsetAs I gaze at this psychedelic vision on the horizon Whilst instantaneous getting high on this potent cannabis Images memories from my past my turbulent tragic adolescence flood into my stoned consciousness A singular tear forms on my left eye lid It runs down my face as […]

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The End

Not long before I cease existing I’m close to the end when I will take the decisive step to end my life I can see the black oblivion of nothingness that will consume my soul I can see my consciousness evaporating into another realm into the cosmos The end is nigh when the torture of […]

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The Rave

Dancing for hours floating on air In states of rapture to the incessant beat My mind my body transported by the molly into a euphoric loved up sensation Psychedelic colours flow in my eye as the music and sound appear as one My friends that dance in blissed out states appear to me like ethereal […]

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