I Hate Myself And Want To Die

Can’t abide the pain of being me anymore I hate myself so fucking badly and all I desire is for this hell to end Viewed myself in the mirror today what a disgusting repulsive human I am With gnarled disfigured teeth and horrendous pasty blotchy skin I hate living in this body living in my […]

Red

Red the spectacular awe inspiring colours of the sunsetAs I gaze at this psychedelic vision on the horizon Whilst instantaneous getting high on this potent cannabis Images memories from my past my turbulent tragic adolescence flood into my stoned consciousness A singular tear forms on my left eye lid It runs down my face as […]

I Miss You Mum

6 years this week you killed yourself It hurts like acid burning a hole in my stomach I miss you think about you everyday Miss your hugs your effusive hugs you bestowed upon me I miss you mum i cry when I hear your funeral songI shed a profusion of tears when I gaze at […]

The Infinite Breathtaking Beauty Of Nature

I venture outside into the lush verdant woodsIm engulfed by this serene vista of beauty Surrounded by birds a vast array of trees As i traverse deeper into the vast forest I hear a cacophony of birds singing that sends me into rapturous delight I am all alone with no distractions no modern day technology […]

The Darkest Day Part 3

After the priest powerful emotional soaring eulogy in which we rendered the funeral congregation to tears. My mums best friend since childhood Dorothy again delivered a funny poignant elocution filled with humorous anecdotes and lamenting the tragic untimely passing of her best friend. Then my father got up tentatively to recite a poem which encapsulated […]

The Darkest Day Part 2

After a eternity as me and my grieving stoic father sat languidly in the funeral car directly behind the hearse containing my mothers decaying corpse. Then the rest of the funeral attendees got inside their respective vehicles and we could proceed to the church. It was a long arduous journey as we travelled at a […]

Spiralling Out Of Control

My mind is beset with anxiety today I started the day feeling normal just slightly nervous Then over the course of the day my anxiety intensified as i spiralled out of control By the end of the day my hands were shacking i could barely breathe This anxiety is killing its living in hellIts rendered […]

Daddy Please Don’t Shed Any Tears At My Funeral

Daddy don’t cry don’t mourn for when I’m gone As the priest reads my funeral eulogy don’t lament my passing As the music reverberates in the cavernous church stay stoic and austerePlease don’t cry don’t mourn for a life bereft of meaning or purpose Soon i will be gone the black dog of depression is […]

Ugly Girl

I’m a ugly girl such a fucking ugly girlUgly enough to not want to exist Hate the skin i live in this bag of bones devoid of shape No man looks at me with a lustful gaze i am a invisible to all men I’m so ugly i cant stand the way I appear in […]

Disorder

Lost and confused in a alienated state Alone in the hell of my tortured existence Nobody cares there’s nobody who understands who knows about my pain I want to reach and feel a connection to have another soul hold my mind hug me tightly and share my disorder I’m ill a body paralysed with anxiety […]