Harrowing vivid Nightmare

I awake at 3 o’clock in the morning my forehead is soaked in sweat. I’m sitting upright on my single bed breathing heavily. Panting like a frightened dog after experiment a harrowing vivid nightmare that wrecked me with anxiety and distress. For the rest of the night and early mourning i was unable to fall […]

Freedom

I put on my noise cancelling headphonesThen the rhapsodic classical echoes into my ears I’m in heaven laying on my bed letting the serene luscious music take me to a higher plain of consciousness I close my eyes as psychedelic visions appear in my stoned mind I am free now in a high state with […]

Disorder

Lost and confused in a alienated state Alone in the hell of my tortured existence Nobody cares there’s nobody who understands who knows about my pain I want to reach and feel a connection to have another soul hold my mind hug me tightly and share my disorder I’m ill a body paralysed with anxiety […]

A Passenger

Existing as a observer of life Not actively engaging in the essential activities of the human race I’m on the outside wanting to be a participant in the wonders of life Wanting love wanting to traverse the globe and witness fantastical awe inspiring vistas but my disorder precludes me from venturing into the wide world […]

Shadows And Tall Trees

Outside my bedroom window all i see is the shadows A melancholic scenery of autumn trees No sign of life no colour a absence of humanity in my secluded residence I am alone sequestered away yearning for human contact to assuage my depressed anxiety laden malaise All alone at home with the silence that terrifies […]

Dread

I cant stop shacking my knees are trembling I’m overcome with angst I’m scratching my hands with my fingers Then i keep tapping my feet I’m on the outside away from the comfort the security of my shelter my home The dread the fear is overwhelming My breathing is frantic I’m trying diligently to control […]

The Perpetual Hell Of Living With A Social Anxiety Disorder

My social anxiety began in the aftermath of my mothers suicide. Before that harrowing emotional scaring event at the age of 13 i was a shy introvert who could be described as socially awkward. After witnessing my mother dead body the ptsd it was the genesis of my pernicious social anxiety disorder. In the months […]

Anxiety

My body is permeated with disquiet My thoughts are cloudy my mind racked with fear I cant control my breathe as I breathe erratically when I’m in public People stare at me the anxiety intensifies i fall down a black hole of sadness On the outside i never feel safe I’m alone terrified of a […]

The House Of Mirrors

Its fast approaching midnight my body is weary my eyes are drowsy. I am wearing my silky crimson jimjams which i typically wear when the British climate becomes more clement and not so stiflingly humid. My anxiety has dissipated as i sense the serene effects of the cannabis i inhaled minutes ago. With my body […]

Insomnia

Can’t sleep cant stop sweating This heat is exhausting I’m sweating profusely throughout the day At night i laying in my bed with my windows open The sweat breeze gives a moment of elation but the muggy heat is relentless I am tossing and turning all night diligently trying all manner of things to end […]