Chapter 6 I Have No Friends

All of my adult life maintaining long term meaningful friendships was immensely difficult. When my personality disorder emerged in my late teens the negative anti social traits made friendships increasingly arduous to develop or preserve. Even as a child friendships were elusive special gifts i had to treasure. My circle of friends were long standing […]

Chapter 5 Strangers Whom I’m Related To

My emancipation from the suffocation of cohabiting with my parents give me the privacy the personal autonomy i craved. I had this overwhelming desire to be free to be exiled from the vexation of family life wanting to exist away from the agita of human contact. This yearning was fulfilled with the tumultuous decision to […]

Chapter 3 Teenage Alienation

As i progressed into adolescence i was cognisant that i began to change as a person. Transforming in many positive aspects in my self confidence in my ambitions for the future. Benefiting from the atmosphere that was fostered in my secondary school education. It was a environment where you could thrive where intellectual curiosity was […]

The Rave

Dancing for hours floating on air In states of rapture to the incessant beat My mind my body transported by the molly into a euphoric loved up sensation Psychedelic colours flow in my eye as the music and sound appear as one My friends that dance in blissed out states appear to me like ethereal […]

Disorder

Lost and confused in a alienated state Alone in the hell of my tortured existence Nobody cares there’s nobody who understands who knows about my pain I want to reach and feel a connection to have another soul hold my mind hug me tightly and share my disorder I’m ill a body paralysed with anxiety […]

A Rapturous Night Of Conviviality And Alcoholic Excess

Let me regale you of a euphoric night of pure hedonism Spending a night with my university cohorts A night devoid of sadness where my heart was in pure rapture Drinking alcohol enjoying the geniality of my closest friends The evening commenced as the sun was setting with a sublime kaleidoscopic sunset We drank in […]

Concealing My Disorder

I exist in this mask this persona that portrays a veneer of sanity Behind the mask lurks a inner world of darkness with a pernicious social anxiety and crippling depression that i conceal from all of humanity I go out to the world interact with friends smiling laughing concealing my pain never frowning never disclosing […]