The Strange Women At Flat Number 28

This beguiling eccentric women who resides at flat 28A flat directly above me I see her occasional saunter out of the block of flats She walks with a weariness with a detached aloofness We on rare moments came across each other We exchange these monosyllabic awkward pleasantries No long effusive conversations just stilted interactionsI want […]

The Wedding Part 1

Its 8:00 am i have awoken at a ungodly early hour on a clement august Saturday in my old bed in my old house on this supposedly momentous day. Its the day of my fathers wedding day his second wedding nearly 10 years since the traumatic suicide of my mum. 10 years ago my mum […]

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The Elephant Man And Me

The elephant man is my favourite movie i most have seen it at least 20 times. I can still recollect the firsts time I watched this seminal piece of cinematic brilliance that a brilliant depiction of the human condition. I was 14 years old feeling this socially awkward alienated teenager who was suffering the formative […]

Ugly

Ugly on the inside as i am on the outside Inside I’m gnarled i hate myself Inside there lurks a darkness that remains unexpressed A sadness a wound that is slowly killing me On the outside is a grotesque perversion of a human being I lack beauty i lack any positive human attribute I am […]

The Date

Tonight i take my first steps into the world of dating I am terrified of being that vulnerable to have to be engaging and interesting for an entire evening My date is his gorgeous intelligent perfect specimen of a man Whilst I’m a homely invisible ugly women with deep untreated psychological scars I am going […]

Terminal Depression

Can’t shake this pain It makes my bones ache with sadness I can barely walk i can barely function its so excruciating to live with This depression this pain is terminal its like having a cancer infecting you’re entire body One day i will awake and be unable to carry on living this way One […]

An Evening Of Fear And Loathing Part 1

Tonight’s the night when i will force myself to overcome my fears my crippling social anxiety and go on my first date in nearly 4 years. It will be my first official date as a adult women and I’m overcome with terror and excitement at the thought on embarking on a date with a man […]

Freak

The voices in my head as i gaze at my hideous visage in the mirrorFreak freak ugly monster you hideous unlovable cunt These internal voices reverberate in my fractured psyche They grow more vociferous as i interact with the general public I’m a unlovable freak a social leperIm cursed with this ugly exterior that is […]

The Fantastical Dream Of Happiness

Its a dream a far fetched unattainable fantasy to find happiness I cant find love it eludes me happiness is a myth I want to fall in love to feel the tender kiss of a lover I want to feel the warm embrace of my lover to have him quell my depression my adult alienation […]