Chapter 11 No Future

It’s New Year’s Eve a typical news years night in my lonely schizoid life. No raucous party no frequenting night clubs no prolonged period of public inebriation or social interaction. I have no friends i have a vacant private life devoid of meaningful human connection. Consequently i spend New Year’s Eve as a sad pathetic […]

Read More Chapter 11 No Future

Chapter 3 Teenage Alienation

As i progressed into adolescence i was cognisant that i began to change as a person. Transforming in many positive aspects in my self confidence in my ambitions for the future. Benefiting from the atmosphere that was fostered in my secondary school education. It was a environment where you could thrive where intellectual curiosity was […]

Read More Chapter 3 Teenage Alienation

Red

Red the spectacular awe inspiring colours of the sunsetAs I gaze at this psychedelic vision on the horizon Whilst instantaneous getting high on this potent cannabis Images memories from my past my turbulent tragic adolescence flood into my stoned consciousness A singular tear forms on my left eye lid It runs down my face as […]

Read More Red

The Rave

Dancing for hours floating on air In states of rapture to the incessant beat My mind my body transported by the molly into a euphoric loved up sensation Psychedelic colours flow in my eye as the music and sound appear as one My friends that dance in blissed out states appear to me like ethereal […]

Read More The Rave

Echoes

Outside my window I hear a cacophony of birds singing The wind howls in this bleak autumn day There a blanket of grey in the skyline that haunts my town I hear the distant echoes of dogs barking children playing mothers bellowing Inside my fortress of solitude there’s a absence of colour I look around […]

Read More Echoes

Harrowing vivid Nightmare

I awake at 3 o’clock in the morning my forehead is soaked in sweat. I’m sitting upright on my single bed breathing heavily. Panting like a frightened dog after experiment a harrowing vivid nightmare that wrecked me with anxiety and distress. For the rest of the night and early mourning i was unable to fall […]

Read More Harrowing vivid Nightmare

I Miss You Mum

6 years this week you killed yourself It hurts like acid burning a hole in my stomach I miss you think about you everyday Miss your hugs your effusive hugs you bestowed upon me I miss you mum i cry when I hear your funeral songI shed a profusion of tears when I gaze at […]

Read More I Miss You Mum

My Depression

My depression isn’t romantic its mind numbing boredom Its waking up aching in pain with this weight in your bones Its being able to leave my house for fear of a panic attack Its eschewing looking into the mirror for fear of seeing the monstrous creature that will materialise in the bathroom mirror Its going […]

Read More My Depression