Spiralling Out Of Control

My mind is beset with anxiety today I started the day feeling normal just slightly nervous Then over the course of the day my anxiety intensified as i spiralled out of control By the end of the day my hands were shacking i could barely breathe This anxiety is killing its living in hellIts rendered […]

Daddy Please Don’t Shed Any Tears At My Funeral

Daddy don’t cry don’t mourn for when I’m gone As the priest reads my funeral eulogy don’t lament my passing As the music reverberates in the cavernous church stay stoic and austerePlease don’t cry don’t mourn for a life bereft of meaning or purpose Soon i will be gone the black dog of depression is […]

The Terror

The news fills me with dread I see a array of devastating reports on climate change The burning of our rainforest artic on fire oceans rising apocalyptic storms and hurricanes The terror the horror of our future what will life be like in 50 years I have trouble breathing as these nightmarish climate stories provoke […]

My Mums Suicide Elegy

Its been 6 years exactly since that dreaded fateful day when me and my dad discovered my mums lifeless haunted body hanging from the top of our living room doorway. The memory the images the wounds of that day blight my mind. I can recall arriving home feeling this teenage weariness after a long day […]

Climbing Up The Walls

Arms shacking shivering my body sways manically back and forth My breathing is erratic uncontrolled the curtains are firmly closed No lights in my home I can’t face the world the dark eerie outside I turn off my phone there’s complete silence no music as i sit on the edge of my bed wanting this […]

A Passenger

Existing as a observer of life Not actively engaging in the essential activities of the human race I’m on the outside wanting to be a participant in the wonders of life Wanting love wanting to traverse the globe and witness fantastical awe inspiring vistas but my disorder precludes me from venturing into the wide world […]

Concealing My Disorder

I exist in this mask this persona that portrays a veneer of sanity Behind the mask lurks a inner world of darkness with a pernicious social anxiety and crippling depression that i conceal from all of humanity I go out to the world interact with friends smiling laughing concealing my pain never frowning never disclosing […]