The End

Not long before I cease existing I’m close to the end when I will take the decisive step to end my life I can see the black oblivion of nothingness that will consume my soul I can see my consciousness evaporating into another realm into the cosmos The end is nigh when the torture of […]

Harrowing vivid Nightmare

I awake at 3 o’clock in the morning my forehead is soaked in sweat. I’m sitting upright on my single bed breathing heavily. Panting like a frightened dog after experiment a harrowing vivid nightmare that wrecked me with anxiety and distress. For the rest of the night and early mourning i was unable to fall […]

I Miss You Mum

6 years this week you killed yourself It hurts like acid burning a hole in my stomach I miss you think about you everyday Miss your hugs your effusive hugs you bestowed upon me I miss you mum i cry when I hear your funeral songI shed a profusion of tears when I gaze at […]

The Darkest Day Part 3

After the priest powerful emotional soaring eulogy in which we rendered the funeral congregation to tears. My mums best friend since childhood Dorothy again delivered a funny poignant elocution filled with humorous anecdotes and lamenting the tragic untimely passing of her best friend. Then my father got up tentatively to recite a poem which encapsulated […]

Mother

Gone forever existing as a fading memory Death by suicide can still visualise your sad listless eyes Mother i will never forget about you You’re indelible illuminating presence is embedded in my damaged mind There was once bitterness and anger at losing you in the apex of my adolescence Now though its been replaced by […]

My Depression

My depression isn’t romantic its mind numbing boredom Its waking up aching in pain with this weight in your bones Its being able to leave my house for fear of a panic attack Its eschewing looking into the mirror for fear of seeing the monstrous creature that will materialise in the bathroom mirror Its going […]

The Serenity Of My Bubble Bath

After a day of anguish and stress I retreat to my bathroom Draw a luscious bubble bath with serene inducing aromas that soothe my anxiety I remove my sweaty cloths and disappear into a sea of bubbles with My naked body is transformed into a euphoric relaxed state in the bliss of my bath The […]

Daddy Please Don’t Shed Any Tears At My Funeral

Daddy don’t cry don’t mourn for when I’m gone As the priest reads my funeral eulogy don’t lament my passing As the music reverberates in the cavernous church stay stoic and austerePlease don’t cry don’t mourn for a life bereft of meaning or purpose Soon i will be gone the black dog of depression is […]

Ugly Girl

I’m a ugly girl such a fucking ugly girlUgly enough to not want to exist Hate the skin i live in this bag of bones devoid of shape No man looks at me with a lustful gaze i am a invisible to all men I’m so ugly i cant stand the way I appear in […]

My Mums Suicide Elegy

Its been 6 years exactly since that dreaded fateful day when me and my dad discovered my mums lifeless haunted body hanging from the top of our living room doorway. The memory the images the wounds of that day blight my mind. I can recall arriving home feeling this teenage weariness after a long day […]