Dear Arya

I am writing this email to you to notify you of a few important momentous details that have been occurring in my life. Rather than have a brief phone interaction with i thought i could detail the events coming up in my life that you as my beloved daughter have a right to know about. […]

The Terror

The news fills me with dread I see a array of devastating reports on climate change The burning of our rainforest artic on fire oceans rising apocalyptic storms and hurricanes The terror the horror of our future what will life be like in 50 years I have trouble breathing as these nightmarish climate stories provoke […]

Ugly Girl

I’m a ugly girl such a fucking ugly girlUgly enough to not want to exist Hate the skin i live in this bag of bones devoid of shape No man looks at me with a lustful gaze i am a invisible to all men I’m so ugly i cant stand the way I appear in […]

Disorder

Lost and confused in a alienated state Alone in the hell of my tortured existence Nobody cares there’s nobody who understands who knows about my pain I want to reach and feel a connection to have another soul hold my mind hug me tightly and share my disorder I’m ill a body paralysed with anxiety […]

Climbing Up The Walls

Arms shacking shivering my body sways manically back and forth My breathing is erratic uncontrolled the curtains are firmly closed No lights in my home I can’t face the world the dark eerie outside I turn off my phone there’s complete silence no music as i sit on the edge of my bed wanting this […]

A Rapturous Night Of Conviviality And Alcoholic Excess

Let me regale you of a euphoric night of pure hedonism Spending a night with my university cohorts A night devoid of sadness where my heart was in pure rapture Drinking alcohol enjoying the geniality of my closest friends The evening commenced as the sun was setting with a sublime kaleidoscopic sunset We drank in […]

A Passenger

Existing as a observer of life Not actively engaging in the essential activities of the human race I’m on the outside wanting to be a participant in the wonders of life Wanting love wanting to traverse the globe and witness fantastical awe inspiring vistas but my disorder precludes me from venturing into the wide world […]

2AM Phone Call To The Salvation Army Crisis Hotline

Its 2 am in the morning my hands are shacking covered in blood from another masochistic bout of self harm. I’m laying on my kitchen floor with a razor blade in my right hand my left arm looks ravaged with several vertical deep lacerations on my underarm. My pain receptors are dulled and numb from […]

I’m Ugly Living With Body Dysmorphia

The genesis of my body dysmorphia began as I entered adolescence. I was always this shy introverted who was acutely self conscious around my secondary school peers. Then a tragic event befall our family my mother committed suicide in my first year i attended secondary school the ptsd I incurred and the isolation i surmised […]

Dreams

Drifting away into realms of my subconscious I dream in colour with a polychromatic visions that float through my unconscious mindI am sailing through the vast wondrous galaxy with a awe inspiring incandescent stars beaming not my engrossed mind Reds and blues and greens illuminate the horizon I’m in ecstasy In this euphoric dream I’m […]