My Depression

My depression isn’t romantic its mind numbing boredom
Its waking up aching in pain with this weight in your bones
Its being able to leave my house for fear of a panic attack
Its eschewing looking into the mirror for fear of seeing the monstrous creature that will materialise in the bathroom mirror

Its going days without sleep climbing up the walls with anxiety
Its a perennial feeling of deadness living with emotionless numbed sensation
Its cutting my arms my legs to feel alive to feel a tactile sensation
Its laying in bed ignoring phone calls cutting out contact from the outside world

My depression isn’t a profusion of self pitying tears
Its quiet never engaging in effusive loquacious conversations
Its haunched shoulders eyes fixed on the ground
Its not being able to concentrate as the mind atrophies from the severity of my depression

I never disclose my depression i keep it hidden in the walls of my introverted mind
Nobody wants to hear my laments of emotional torment
The pain the god damn fucking pain is slowly killing me
My depression is like nuclear radiation infecting my organs over many years until one day this cancer of depression will drive me into the black hole of death

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