The Monster

It lives within me this beast this monster
It threatens to ruin me to devour me from the inside
When I’m in public when in unfamiliar situations the monster appears torturing me
It tells me I’m ugly I’m worthless I’m unlovable

The monster has rendered me ravaged shattered exhausted barely able to function
It blinded me with permanent states of dread with panic pulsating in my ageing bones
I cant stop worrying i cant go out anymore i cant sleep because of this pernicious monster that’s devouring my soul

I cant control this monster this cancerous organism that’s proliferated across my languid body and soul
Unable to look at myself in the mirror for fear of provoking this malicious monster
Fear of venturing outside fear of answering a phone call of taking a chance in life this monster will punish me for showing a modicum of bravery

I am rotting from the inside begging god to end my life
For years i have subsisted with this beast that lurks in the shadows of my subconscious
Now this monster has metastasised into a uncontrollable force that threatens my sanity
This monstrous villain has precluded me from having friends from experiencing the wonders of sex or falling in love this monster is my anxiety that is slowly poisoning me with the noxious fumes of this untreated disorder

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