I entered the door to my block of flats
A stranger a neighbour glimpsed my hideous visage and shuddered with horror
As I entered the door he was leaving and I perceived from his repulsed reaction to my deformed face
He looked at me with terror with derision
I was so profoundly embarrassed my our fleeting interaction
Running up the stairs to my flat entrance
Wanting to be far away from the vilifying stares of strangers
I entered the safety of my secluded flat and felt a tumult of self loathing pulsate in my body
The hell of being me living in this ugly unsightly body
Having a face deformed and malformed devoid of any beauty
Its why I’m alone living without love or sex
Its why a alluring stranger saw my face and felt a consternation just glimpsing my visage for a few seconds
For hours after this awkward encounter I fell into a deep depression
To assuage my inner torment i consumed a copious amount of alcohol to numb the pangs of sadness ruminating in my fractured soul
I then proceeded to cut my arms with a razor blade to feel something
This masochistic injurious act help to imbue me with some humanity after that brief agonising encounter had engendered in me a feeling of worthlessness that i was a grotesque freak discarded by society
