Dread

I cant stop shacking my knees are trembling
I’m overcome with angst I’m scratching my hands with my fingers
Then i keep tapping my feet
I’m on the outside away from the comfort the security of my shelter my home

The dread the fear is overwhelming
My breathing is frantic I’m trying diligently to control my hyperventilating
Attempting a myriad of methods to palliate the anxiety that’s surging in my body
All to no avail as the dread is unrelenting as i am confronted with the horror of my disorder with the fear of society

I refrain from interacting with strangers crossing the road to avoid passing pedestrians
Still the torturous anxiety circulates in me it wont die down
I feel the onset of another harrowing panic attack please god no here not on the cobbled streets
I play music at a thunderous volume to escape from this reality to assuage my social phobia

I walk at a frantic pace all i experience in my neurotic consciousness is the dread of every possible situation
Its the fear the dread the dogs barking the passerby with their glaring acerbic eyes
The horror the torture the pain of my disorder the alienation nobody knows the pain the dread i endure with every waking moment