Thinking About Suicide

Its on my mind all the time
Suicide the perennial screensaver on my consciousness
I constantly contemplate ending my life
Contemplate the most preferable method of suicide

I think about the perfect soundtrack to my untimely demise
Maybe its a combination of joy division and haunting melancholic classical music
The most desirable way of death i have surmised is a drug overdose
Other methods like hanging drowning slashing my wrists are harrowing excruciatingly painful ways to die

I want my death to be painless I want to drift into nothingness without the pain of life
No blood no grisly corpse just a languid sleeping body rendered death by a copious deadly quantity of opiate painkillers
As I drift away into permanent sleep i want the exemplary cello concerto by Elgar to be echoing into my mind
Then the pain of life the pain of existing this way will be over with me experiencing profoundly moving music

Many times i ruminate about suicide without feeling abjectly depressed
It my morbid mind that’s has these bizarre streams of consciousness
My mins that has sick twisted fantasies of death it how i escape the horror the turgidity of life
It only be ton escape the boredom the mediocrity of my life that have a final memorable act in a otherwise futile life

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