Fucked Up In The Head

I’m damaged I’m broken I’m so fucked up in the head
I hear voices they scream they bellow at me
They call me ugly they call me a bitch
These voices make me paranoid they tear me apart

In public I’m so anxiety ridden i suffer from a panic attacks
I feel so intensely self conscious i feel people’s judgmental cold eyes on me at all times
They are laughing at me casting derisive opinions on my unappealing physical appearance
I don’t feel safe and secure around people i am in a perpetual state of panic i long to be alone in the sanctuary of my humble abode

I’m fucked i will never be free from this pernicious illness of social anxiety and paralysing body dysmorphia
I gaze in the mirror and see a deformed freak with a grotesque face
My skin makes me shiver and crawl on the inside
I feel sick living in this broken ravaged body and this defective mind

I will never have a boyfriend
Never get to experience the nirvana of falling in love
I am cursed to exist with acute social phobia that precludes me from enjoying the luscious fruits of love
No sex no love no travelling around the world just agonising never ending anxiety

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