Blood On The Floor

I took a deep laceration this time
There’s a profusion if blood that’s emanated from my arms
The wound is deep it might scar it might require disinfectant to adequately heal
The dangerously sharp shade of glass has left me in ecstasy tonight

Tomorrow and for days i will be paralysed with excruciating agonising pain
The pain the wounds are a glaring reminder of my untreated mental illness my depression
I will wear long sleeved shirts for weeks to conceal my shame my mutilated arms
Friends will be completely unaware of my condition my predilection to self harm

I look at the wooden floor that where there is droplets of blood
I need to hide the evidence of my masochistic deleterious act
Need bleach need towels to mop up the blood stains on the wooden floor
I don’t want my housemates to be worried about me

My condition my depression my self harm will remain a dark secret
I refrain from divulging my pain my peculiar habits to anybody
I know I’m ill that I’m fucked up in the head
I’m fully cognisant that one day i will arise with the desire to commit suicide one day the ecstasy of self harm wont be enough to ward of the black demon dogs of depression

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