Suicide

Want to end it the pain of being alive is too great
Ive endure this oppressive pain for years since i was a teenager
Its not getting better the pain the melancholy has metastasised into a desire to end my life
For weeks i have been ruminating on how to commit suicide not will i kill myself

I gaze into the mirror into the window of my soul
I look at my haunted listless eyes devoid of beauty devoid of hope
I strip all my clothes off and see a gnarled hideous image of a human being
A women slowly dying from this cancer of depression that’s eating me from the inside

I am living with a radiation that’s rendered me unable to carry on
Can’t walk cant hardly breathe from a unbearable onerous depression
I never smile in public cant laugh anymore
I seldom leave my room except to eat which is a rare

I want to die to become a sad memory
My funeral will be attended by distant family members and the sparse groups of friends
I intend to kill myself in the most excruciating painful manner imaginable
I will die by hanging my body the same method of suicide my mother used

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