
All alone in the bleak desert wilderness of my adulthood
Nobody to hear my forlorn despair cries for help
Nobody out there that acutely cares if I’m alive or dead
I tweet i vent my fury on YouTube nobody watches nobody responds
I’m a ghost a mirage a walking haunted spirit creature trapped in this mortal body unable to extricate myself from myself
I don’t really exist i never go out and socialise i am permanently ensconced in my room existing as a hermit
My social anxiety has grown so severe interacting with strangers is so onerous i stay inside hidden
I stay locked inside my room for days leaving only to depart to work or to attend my studies
A few friends occasional call ignore there profuse requests
I hide my self inside the hell the perdition of my perennial depression
I self harm to feel something to feel a modicum of life even if that’s excruciating physical pain
I know now i am cursed destined to live in agony all alone with nobody caring or showing a morsel of humanity for my psychological aliments
I all alone in a godless soulless universe
God has forsaken my soul
Mother left me at 13 god is absent from my life
I am lost in the abyss dreaming of suicide of the fantasy of not existing