I want To Die

Can’t stand the pain of being alive anymore
I want to kill myself i want to end this nightmare of being alive of being me
I exist in a perennial state of loneliness and emotional despair
The only logical method to end the pain is to terminate myself from this wretched planet

If i died nobody would shed a tear
I have a few friends but they aren’t deep meaningful friendships
These are shallow superficial friends who happen to study at my university
If i died if I disappeared forever they might be sad nut not distraught
My family don’t know me we hardly speak apart from at Christmas so there’s no love no connection there

I want to die without pain in my bed all alone listening to ethereal transcendental classical music
I will consume a profuse quantity of sleeping pills and a bottle of highly potent whisky
This noxious cocktail of drugs will render my body lifeless
I want to drift away in a deep slumber to never wake again to never face the excruciating agony of being severely depressed and suffering form acute social anxiety disorder i want to die i cant breath anymore I can’t take the panic attacks the psychological torture of being me being completely alone in a cold world

2 thoughts on “I want To Die

  1. Sending out love and light your way, I hope you feel better and things change. I have had a hard life as well and they only thing that kept me sane was to getting down in my knees and praying to a higher power, whoever that maybe to you. Pray and tell your god, that this is what’s going on with my life and I surrender everything to you and may your will be done not mine. Go to peaceful places, maybe a monastery, a temple or a church and sit quietly and enjoy the silence. Just savor life’s little moments like food, a walk, or a song. You must be brave and fight for yourself, don’t expect anyone to do it for you.
    “Life is a gift, that’s why we call it present!”


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