In my room which nobody is allowed to enter
I keep it locked it’s my private kingdom my sanctuary my fortress of solitude
In my gothically decorated room on my Chester draws is a shrine to my deceased mother
There is a array of sentinel mementos which is a daily reminder of the beautiful Irish women who birthed me
There is a collage of photographs my mums suicide note she wrote to me
There are childhood toys a teddy bear that keep the fading memory of my mum alive
Every day before I drift into the land of nod i say a prayer dedicated to my mum
Every day shes there in my thoughts she haunts me
Its been nearly 5 year since she killed herself in the harrowing day when me and my father discovered her body hanging
That memory of seeing this divine women who bestowed upon me such unconditional boundless love looking so haunted
The memory has endured in me i thank about the pain the suffering she endured in her final weeks
I have suffered from a untreated mental illness just like my mum and its a brutal to have nobody to divulge your emotional suffering to
The shrine with religious images with the cross of Jesus
With my mothers angelic image her beauty that lights up my dark gothic room
My mum is like the Virgin Mary to me now she is sainted in my damaged fractured mind
She has become a saint a guardian angel giving me strength in dark times when I seriously contemplate killing myself
