Chapter 11 No Future

It’s New Year’s Eve a typical news years night in my lonely schizoid life. No raucous party no frequenting night clubs no prolonged period of public inebriation or social interaction. I have no friends i have a vacant private life devoid of meaningful human connection. Consequently i spend New Year’s Eve as a sad pathetic […]

Chapter 10 Peter Allan

For the majority of my adult life and tenure at TWC i have refrained from engaging in romantic or sexual relationships due to my disorder. There was though one individual in my early twenties in my preliminary period at TWC who fired the fervent passions hidden deep inside my introverted introspective personality. This person was […]

Chapter 9 Trapped Inside A Big Blue Dream

Ever since i was a infant i had this innate predilection to fantasise. Before I developed this emotional crippled personality disorder i had this atypical inclination to disappear into a elaborate fantasy world. A inner universe in which i created a alter ego alternative version of myself. A character that i could live vicariously through […]

Chapter 8 The Purgatory Of 9 Till 5

Every working day starts and ends in the same laborious way. There’s no meaningful differentiation from one day to the next. It’s me completing the same task the exact duplicate itinerary for every single working day. It’s a vacuous boring subsistence existence that i have been condemned to endure. The routine however is comforting allowing […]

Chapter 7 An Alien Trapped In A Cage

Confined condemned to exist in this cage this metaphorical cage of sequestration from the world. I am a alien creature hidden away in walls of isolation prevented due to my pathological condition from connecting with the humans. A condition a sickness of the mind that has damaged permanently my relationship to the human race. I […]

Chapter 6 I Have No Friends

All of my adult life maintaining long term meaningful friendships was immensely difficult. When my personality disorder emerged in my late teens the negative anti social traits made friendships increasingly arduous to develop or preserve. Even as a child friendships were elusive special gifts i had to treasure. My circle of friends were long standing […]

Chapter 5 Strangers Whom I’m Related To

My emancipation from the suffocation of cohabiting with my parents give me the privacy the personal autonomy i craved. I had this overwhelming desire to be free to be exiled from the vexation of family life wanting to exist away from the agita of human contact. This yearning was fulfilled with the tumultuous decision to […]

Chapter 4 From The Light Into The Darkness

From the inception of my adulthood my personality my behaviour began to alter. I started to exhibit increasingly detrimental behaviours which were indicators of a severe personality disorder. At the time i was unaware i was suffering from the negative symptoms of being schizoid. For myself I had completely normalised these eccentric habits. The proclivity […]

Chapter 3 Teenage Alienation

As i progressed into adolescence i was cognisant that i began to change as a person. Transforming in many positive aspects in my self confidence in my ambitions for the future. Benefiting from the atmosphere that was fostered in my secondary school education. It was a environment where you could thrive where intellectual curiosity was […]

Chapter 2 My Seemingly Normal Childhood

I was born in the autumn of 1984 in a working class northern town in England. Birthed into this world in the town of Mayberry raised by two normal parents. Their names were Sarah and David Harratt they named me Patrick. It was a stereotypical rundown humdrum derelict working class town that had suffered the […]